Dear Gnocchi Pigrone

Dear Gnocchi Pigrone,

You are my best friend. You are a jackass. You are an overall thorn in my side. I come home to find my living room enveloped in smoke from a piece that is neither yours nor mine. And yelling some bs that I will also start yelling in due time. But we still choose to see you every even if it feels like you’re pulling my teeth to get me over. But I say all of this from my tower of anonymity shooting warning shots because, in the end, I can’t stay mad at you.

Even if I call you ungrateful, selfish, lazy, messy, pathetic, etc. But when I dish out you shoot back, and this keeps us at an equilibrium. I can joke that your dad performs circumcisions and you can make fun of me for fumbling another 10/10 girl. But we won’t have a friendship breakup or breakup or friendship removal or demotion or overall repulsion to each other’s presence. We are almost like middle schoolers bullying their crush because we don’t know how to show love to another man.

Some say we are toxic but maybe just we have Ph.Ds in Haterology? Doesn’t matter I hate you and why would I change that bestie <3.



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