Dear Pain In My Ass,

To the first immature bastard, you had some major growing up to do, you were an asshole. Teenage me thought that you would change that but no. I was always more mature for my age but still, you knew better. I’m not your ‘buddy’ anymore. I wish you no ill will. But damn did I forgive you, one too many times. I wish I could have been that person that says “Fuck You” but i’m not, I’m far from that. I remember you telling me that I don’t know what it feels like to have a broken heart, after I told you that you hurt mine… and I hate to say it, but you were right. Because I never truly did love you…because the people you come to love in this world, you wouldn’t want them to change. Good luck out there buddy. 

  To the second pain in my ass, you were my first real love I would say. I don’t think you know that. You grew on me. You were also an asshole to some but you had a soft spot for me. You taught me that love is love. But things were complicated between us, we both know that.  I watched you fall in love with me and watched you fall out of love with me. It’s one of the worst types of pain. Do you know that? How many times I would cry myself to sleep, alone. Not a soul knew. With you, I knew what it was like to have a broken heart. While you moved on, I was healing alone, slowly. I’m not mad at you. But you hurt me, more than I think you know. We said ‘No matter what.’ And no matter what, even though it didn’t work the way we wanted it too, I hope the best for you. Sometimes you wonder why God would put you through something like that. That pain. That heart break. To mold you, shape you into the strong person you are meant to become. 

-Unapologetically Anonymous



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