How to get a Guy in 10 days (on Tinder)

Written by: Yanuara Ramirez Illustration by: Jack Einhorn

So, you know that movie with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson where she works at a magazine and has to write an article about how to lose a guy in 10 days? I’m doing the exact opposite for Valentine’s Day. Now, I never thought I’d say this… but I’m on Tinder as of ten days ago.

I don’t really believe in dating sites or dating apps. In fact, I have very little experience with dating in general, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I guess I was never attracted to the idea of meeting people online because it’s harder to get to know people that way. Also, I was very convinced that 99% of guys on Tinder were there to find hook-ups. But, nevertheless, I decided to try it before judging it too harshly, and here’s what I learned: 

One. Though my calculations are probably slightly off, there are a lot of guys on Tinder who’re not looking for anything serious. Many of them will even write it in their bios. Whatever your preference may be, it’s just easier to be clear on what you want from the beginning.

Two. Puppies on profile pictures are being used as bait, and you should be very aware of that. You might be thinking “Oh, he looks like a great dog-loving guy,” but ask yourself: does he really like dogs or is he trying to overwhelm my senses with this Labrador? 

Three. Looks aren’t everything! Trust me. I matched with the hottest guy I’ve seen in my life but we had absolutely nothing in common and those are three minutes of my life that I’m never getting back. Oh, Kevin. Also, not everybody is photogenic but if someone’s profile picture is interesting or funny, you might want to go through the rest of their profile. I’ve liked several guys simply for having a great sense of humor or some common interest and I’ve had better conversations with them than I did with Kevin. 

Let’s talk numbers. I’ve had the app for about ten days, and I’ve tried to go on it at least for a few minutes each day. So far I’ve had 58 matches, 19 of which I’ve actually messaged with. Out of those 19, ten guys were straight up creepy, boring, or in one case very rude. My conversation with four other guys kind of withered out and we never talked again, and two of them I’m still talking to. 

I’d say overall the odds of matching with someone you actually like or with someone whom you have many things in common are very slim, but it’s not impossible. In my case, I spent a considerable amount of time on Tinder so I could write this story, but I don’t think it’s something I would use very often otherwise because most of the guys I will find there are not interested in the kind of relationship I’m looking for. I would recommend it to people who are just trying to make new friends and have fun because it’s easy to meet people your age who live nearby. It’s also really fun to come across people you know and go through their embarrassing profile pictures. 

After ten days of really trying to meet people on Tinder, I’ve met about two half-decent guys, and I’m still dateless for Valentine’s Day. I guess I’ll go watch Deadpool with my bag of Hershey’s Kisses. But who needs a date anyway, right? Unlike Kate Hudson, I have failed my journalistic mission. I guess it’s easier to lose a man than to get one.

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